Take It As Red

No wonder Martin Wisse and I bicker like a pair of Tasmanian devils in a sack: here, shamelessly purloined and reformatted from expatica.com is the

ANGLO-DUTCH TRANSLATION GUIDE

What the British say: I hear what you say.
What the British mean: I disagree and do not want to discuss it
What the Dutch understand: He accepts my point of view.

What the British say: With the greatest respect...
What the British mean: I think you are wrong (or a fool).
What the Dutch understand: He is listening to me.

What the British say That's not bad.
What the British mean That's good or very good.
What the Dutch understand That's poor or mediocre.

What the British say: Quite good.
What the British mean: A bit disappointing.
What the Dutch understand: Quite good.

What the British say: Perhaps you would like to think about it
What the British mean: This is an order. Do it.
What the Dutch understand: Think about the idea, but do what you like.

What the British say: When appropriate locally...
What the British mean: Do what you like
What the Dutch understand: Do it if you can.

What the British say: Oh, by the way…Incidentally….
What the British mean: The primary purpose of our discussion is .....
What the Dutch understand: This is not very important.

What the British say: I was a bit disappointed that…It is a pity you
What the British mean: I am most upset and cross
What the Dutch understand: It doesn't really matter.

What the British say: Very interesting.
What the British mean: I don't agree / don't believe you.
What the Dutch understand: They are impressed.

What the British say: Could we consider some other options.
What the British mean: I don't like your idea.
What the Dutch understand: They have not yet decided.

What the British say: I'll bear it in mind.
IWhat the British mean: I will do nothing about it.
What the Dutch understand: They will probably do it.

What the British say: Please think about that some more.
What the British mean: It's a bad idea: don't do it.
What the Dutch understand: It's a good idea: keep developing it.

What the British say: I'm sure it's my fault.
What the British mean: It is your fault !
What the Dutch understand: It was their fault.

What the British say: That is an original point of view.
What the British mean: You must be crazy.
What the Dutch understand: They like my ideas!

What the British say: You must come for dinner sometime.
What the British mean: Not an invitation, just being polite.
What the Dutch understand: I will get an invitation soon.

What the British say: You'll get there eventually.
What the British mean: You don't stand a chance in hell.
What the Dutch understand: Keep on trying for they agree I'm heading in the right direction.

What the British say: I almost agree.
What the British mean: I don't agree at all.
What the Dutch understand: He's not far from agreement.

I can add another:

What I say Oh, so sorry, do excuse me.
What I mean: Get your great Dutch hooves off my foot, you freakish dairy-fed giant.
What they hear: I'm a tiny wimp. Jab me with your elbows too.

I could go on for days like with these- anyone would think I wasn't keen on the Dutch... make your own mind up whether I say what I mean.

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