Take It As Red

"Blogging is, by its very nature, erratic and irregular, feverish effort punctuated by random silence, a conundrum wrapped in a contradiction wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an unclosed em tag. " - The Poor Man

Wednesday, February 2


Towards A Lesser Anglo-Dutch Understanding, II

I couldn't possibly have put it better myself. On browsing expatica's discussion boards (something I do when feeling particularly hostile) I came across this reply to a post on 'What do you least like about Holland and/or The Dutch?', which sums up pretty neatly my views on the Dutch as a nation. Let's face it, the Dutch are chavs.

"Raimund, it's not that the Dutch are ugly and impolite mutants. It's just that they're:

Unpleasant, Unfriendly,
Unwashed, Arrogant,
Overly aggressive, Self-important,
Narrow-minded, Sophomoric,
Anti-American, Anti-German,
Anti-Morrocan, Anti-Semitic,
Champagne liberal, NIMBY-oriented,
Bovine, Porcine,
Ovine, Over-accessorised,
Over-tanned, Over-gelled,
Overly sleazy, Exploitative,
Opportunistic, Finger-wagging,
Begrudging, Vindictive,
Defensive, Neurotic,
Provincial, Bureaucractic,
Over-regulated, Profit-minded,
Ferengi-like, Money-oriented,
Lazy, Lying,
Hypocritical, Cheese-slurping,
FEBO-addicted, Nose-picking,
Sneezy germ-spreading, Canine-excrement-smearing,

To which I might add, inter alia,

Tasteless, Badly dressed ,
Not half as cultured as they'd like to think
Small-minded, Self-obsessed,
Fat-assed, Loud,
Screechy, Bad-mannered ,
Deceitful, The worst hair in the world,
Truly weird noses ( this is a local country, for local people...)
And what do they do when they find the sum of all those sterling Dutch qualities in human form?

, they make him Prime Minister.

The Dutch Nose, in All Its Mutant Glory

Are they perhaps related? I think we should be told...

Als ik naar de TV kijk
dan staat daar weer Jan-Peteren vliegt
spontaan het kwikuit
mijn bloeddrukmeter
(the King of the Nerds is a Nerd among Kings)
Een wereld vol ellende
En wie moet ons besturen?
Jan-Peter Balkenende
En dat moeten wij verduren
(het is niet makkelijk, tis helemaal niet makkelijk)

When I watch TV
I see Jan Peter again
And the mercury splashes spontaneously
from my blood pressure meter
(The King of the Nerds is a Nerd among Kings)
A world full of misery
And who is there to rule us?
Jan Peter Balkenende
And we have to endure this ...
(It's not easy, it's definitely not easy)

Chorus:Uh-oh ... hope all goes well ...Uh-oh ...
hope he doesn't make a fool of himself again

Copyright © 2004 Doc Jazz



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